It could be worse but i'm still going through it

“Things could always be worse”…. While that can always be true, it doesn’t necessarily make you feel better. In those moments where I’m struggling and I have to tell myself “Molly, it could be way worse”, I sometimes think back to the times where it really was worse.

When the pressures from life add up and become almost unbearable, I think back to the time of my grief when I was dealing with the tragedy of losing my sons dad. That feeling was the saddest, emptiest, loneliest, hopeless feeling I ever felt in all my life. It was a feeling that buried me so low in the dark that nothing else at all mattered. No other problem mattered. I only knew that I was breathing and I was surprised to even do that. I always say this, but thank God for my son in my life. He gives me so many reasons, but he doesn’t know he was the center of keeping me going from minute to minute. Nevermind the next day, making it to the next hour seemed like a far stretch. I literally couldnt see or feel past this feeling. It was a crazy experience. And it was like that for a long time. I would beg God to just show me the way, the pain was so bad I felt like I was floating. This is the first time i truly realized the difference between spirit and flesh. I wasn’t in the flesh, my body couldnt physically handle what was going on. But SOMETHING in my spirit was telling me it was going to be okay, and i struggled to get my flesh and spirit to come to agreement.

When I think back to that time and see how far God has brought me, grown me….. I am so thankful. I’m living presently in a state where I once couldn’t fathom, so no matter how hard it gets now I just have to remember that its the same process as before and none of it has changed but the level of understanding. Life is so hard sometimes, and everyone has their turn of turmoil. But holding yourself accountable on your perspective, and addressing the insecurities, distractions, inner child, traumas or whatever you can while you can, can make the ride alot smoother. If the last thing you need to worry about is being your true self, then everything that comes your way is authentic and designed to shift you to an even elevated version of you. Don’t ignore it, don’t fight it. This is your journey and you’re the one that has to live, go and grow through it. YOU GOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!

With Love and light,

Molly